Corbin, Shlohmo + D33J Show / Mourn First Impressions

Mourn: First Impressions

Ice Boy: This song is definitely one of my favorites on the album (for good reason.) Its just so satisfying and catchy to listen to, while being incredibly relatable. When this song first dropped I COULD NOT stop listening to it. This song came before the entire album, and I'd say I was down in the dumps at the time, so this song really resonated with current situations in my life. I wont even lie, i've cried multiple times to Ice Boy. I played this song at a party I was at and someone who's never listened to Corbin was like "oh man this song is so good, it has a 80's vibe but also... not really" and I couldn't agree more. The beat is very reminiscent of 80's music to me. 

Mourn: Mourn definitely has a different vibe to it than Ice Boy. Mourn reminded me of a period in my life where I wasn't actually stable at all but I tried my best to convince myself I was. I think Corbin genuinely is describing a feeling of relief, because he is reaching a stable point in his life after hardships. But personally, this song resonated better with relaying to a time I was unstable. Going back and listening to it though, in a much better place in my life, helps me hear this song entirely differently. I can actually see how going through trials in life can be rewarding in the end.

Giving Up: This song was a really powerful one. It was able to portray perfectly the feeling of lost hope. Not only in life, but in relationships and situations as well. Corbin describes how exhausting it can be trying to move forward and feeling like you're getting absolutely nowhere. I think we all have gotten to this point at one time or another where we are 100 percent sure we're going to throw in the towel because of how much effort we put into something, with no return. Its a feeling of both anger and frustration. Sometimes, giving up on things is what is best because you can understand not everything is meant to be. Giving up can actually be the best thing for yourself and another person when all you're doing is hurting. 

No Title: Im always particularly intrigued by songs that are untitled. It makes me wonder what exactly was going on in the artists head. Titles give a lot of meaning to things and actively  choosing to not give a title to something is impactful. It usually is because you feel confident enough in that something being clear enough to not need a title, or you genuinely do not feel any title can capture what you wish it could capture. This song also plays on the emotions of not feeling good enough. Even physical pain cant take away from how deep emotional pain can cut a person. 

Revenge Song: Revenge song truly hit home. Ive dealt with sexual assault firsthand and have seen people close to me go through it as well. The gut feeling reaction to hearing of someones assault is to take revenge. In any way you can. You want the person who hurt them punished. When hearing of someone close to you going through this, you want to do as much as you can for them, even though you know deep down you cant take away that trauma inside of them. I saw rage burn inside the eyes of those closest to me. A fire like none other. Revenge Song truly captures that anger.

All Out: I really like this song. I dont know if its because I listened to it repeatedly at a tough time, but either way, its such an incredible song. I remembered what it felt like to want to turn back the clock. Sometimes we try so hard to deny ourselves of something we know is best for us. We only do this because although its what is best, we know the journey there isn't an easy one. However, at some point, seeing what you deserve right in front of you, becomes frustrating. All Out is my anthem for taking that leap of faith I never thought I would take, and ending up in a place I only ever dreamed of. 

Hunker Down: Corbin talks about wanting to be with someone so badly you will do anything to prove to them, being together is the best thing. Long drives, listening to music, creating a home for the two of them. He does not care about anything except being with her. Once again, this song was special to me. Wondering how much time is left until you two are on the same page, while not wanting to waste any time not being with them. This song is the epitome of "all you need is me."

Something Safe: Something Safe embodies how a person can make you feel calm, and settle your mind. It's incredibly rare to find someone who quiets the noisy world we're surrounded by. Someone who can see completely through you and makes you a better person by simply being in your life. Sometimes we force ourselves to be alone because of how afraid we are of getting hurt, then that person comes along and makes it almost effortless to open up again. This song doesn't even make me feel sad, because it honestly describes something so beautiful.

The Fold Up: At first, I couldn't entirely relate to this song. However, I did love how it was put together like a story. You follow the journey of a death, and the pain of loss coupled with addiction. Corbin sings the chorus so beautifully, you can't help but be drawn in. I think someone going through a loss would really really be able to connect to this song on a deep level.

Dragged: This song also follows the story narrative of what seems to be an inevitably unhealthy relationship. There are times we try to make things work even when we know they aren't going to last. We have the best intentions and wish to only provide love and support but, end up only hurting them because we refuse to accept the idea of moving on. No matter how honest our efforts are, there is always a breaking point.

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Corbin, Shlohmo + D33j Show

I was able to make it to the Los Angeles Corbin, Shlohmo & D33j show on Friday September 8th. When this tour was first announced, I immediately bought tickets. I typically go to energy-filled hip hop shows but wanted a change of pace. After attending the Cuco show a few months ago, and enjoying the experience of a laid-back, vibey show, I knew I would love the Corbin show. I'll have a playlist of songs from all three artists at the bottom of this post so you guys could check it out!

The show started with D33J. I arrived a bit late because my bus decided to skip my stop and my friend had to pick me up, so we did not get to listen to all of D33J's set. Next was Shlohmo's set. It was so damn dope listening to his music live. The lighting pretty much only alternated between the colors red, blue, and purple throughout the entire show. I really liked that about it because there weren't any crazy visuals or  distractions. The set up was simple. It was pure enjoyment of the music. Shlohmo was so sincere with his music, and would say "thank you" after every single song he played haha. We were all like "Thank YOU!!!" He played two new songs for us and they were honestly incredible. The set was a good length, which I appreciated.

Corbin came out next and it was so cool that he just walked out so calm and collected, not trying to hype up the crowd for himself or anything. I wish I had written down the songs played, and in which order, but in all honesty I was just really enveloped in the music. I was originally going to write a first impressions on Mourn when it first came out, but I also wanted to experience it live to get the FULL experience of the album. Hearing Corbin perform the songs live, was definitely even more incredible than I could have imagined. Ok so, Corbin is a breathtaking performer. His music is undeniably emotional. The fact that he can convey the emotions in his music throughout every song he performs is truly remarkable. I had yet to experience a show that completely took me to anther place within myself. I wasn't even in a significantly unhappy mood at the time of this show. I actually was in a good place in my life but I could empathize with Corbin and the music so well. Its rare for me to say I enjoy live performances of artists notably more than their studio produced work, but I would definitely pick listening to Corbin live, before ANYTHING, ANYDAY. Corbin performed two new songs, which, LET ME TELL YOU, were beautiful! One of them is my new favorite even though I only have a short clip of it. TO TOP OFF THE ALREADY AMAZING SHOW, Corbin ended up bringing out Bobby Raps. Me and my friend joked about it before the show started like "omg imagine how dope it'd be if he brought out Bobby!" "Id cry if Bobby came out." They performed a good amount of songs together as well, which was greatly appreciated. Typically when artist bring out another artists they only perform one, maybe two songs together but they did about four.

I know the California dates kicked off the tour, I checked and all shows pretty much still have tickets available so if they're coming to your area and you haven't already decided to go, take my word for it and GO. You wont regret it. Even if you don't typically listen to these artists, I think it'd be a really cool show to expose yourself to something new. 

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Playlist & Clips From Show

Love: A Short Story (Playlist)

So I made somewhat of a love playlist (Its my take on a what a love playlist is, of course.) 

I decided to title it "Love: A Short Story" because that's what it tends to feel like. We experience love so briefly. We appreciate it and revel in it, only to realize its fleeting. Love comes and goes, in different forms and people. Its important to recognize that that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Each love we experience is its own short story in the grand scheme of our lives. Take a moment to listen to this playlist and just enjoy what love feels like to me, in the form of music. This playlist is definitely more indie/alternative based, so it's super groovy and chill. I hope you enjoy!

17: First Impressions

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XXXTENTACIONS's latest project, 17, has created a lot of buzz since it's drop. It's only been a day but there is already plenty of talk about this emotion stirring album. Everyone has their own opinion of this artist. Many even refusing to listen to the album because of their feelings towards him. I've personally always enjoyed his music-- everything from the hard hitting thrashy songs, to the emotional melodic songs. I've always thought X was talented due to the fact that he is able to execute various styles, and always has his heart in the music. Most people were knocked off their feet when they first heard 17. It's interesting because people were expecting this album to just be "lots of screaming". So i'm glad we were all hit with one of the most emotional albums to date, because it opened up people's eyes to the diversity they neglected to see in X previously. Beginning to end, 17 takes you on an emotional rollercoaster. "The Explanation", from the start, made me appreciate this album in it's entirety. I initially created this blog to delve into the emotional side of music. Now, of course, I appreciate all music and all aspects of it. But I think there's a huge problem today in the fact that many people are unconcerned with artists true intentions, feelings, and emotions backing the music they release. I appreciate X including and starting with "The Explanation" because it blatantly brings to light his intentions and hopes for this album. It's safe to say this album hit home for most people (even those opposed to X as a person) because of how raw, honest, and unrestrained X was when it came to articulating his depression and translating it musically. 

Speaking completely off of personal experience, X was able to capture a lot of emotions I felt when I was at my worst from both heartbreak & life in general. "Jocelyn Flores" made me feel loss all over again, and the feelings I knew would go through my friends and families hearts had I ended things in my life when I felt that was the only way out. "Depression & Obsession" brought back the reminder of loves ability to be an unhealthy addiction in the midst of feeling alone and unhappy with myself. "Everybody Dies in Their Nightmares" depicted perfectly the long nights spent in the dark, thoughts racing, because there were no distractions from my mind when I was alone in bed late at night. "Revenge" made me remember how emotionally charged I was when I was heartbroken, not thinking about anything but him, what he did, and how justified my hurtful words and actions were because of it. "Save Me" was the cry for help I wish people would have payed more attention to when I felt I would break on my own. "Dead Inside" actually brought tears to my eyes because all I felt was the touch I didn't ever want to feel again. "F**k Love" would have been the love song I listened to and sent him during that breakup to let him know I still cared while trying to convince myself I didn't. "Carry On" reminded me of the nights I was so angry with them that I got lost in myself just to have something worth fighting for because I knew I was all I had. "Orlando" is the epitome of how alone I felt, with no words to express how real the end was for me because no matter what I did, I couldn't bring myself out. "Ayala" prompted me to remember that all the obstacles I have overcome, and all the "regrets" I once had, have only taught me lessons I now cherish. Even if it hurts to remember why I learned the lesson in the first place. 

I really encourage everyone to give this album a listen if you haven't already. Solely from a human perspective, I truly think 17 is something worth turning to, to emphasize you are never alone.  Even if its a simple song you can relate to, you'll know all the negative and terrifying feelings you have/had can be overcome, even in the slightest bit. 

Yadadamean

You all have been wanting a hype mix so here it is!!! I know i've been slacking on content, but I have a lot in store from here on out (now that I finally have a laptop.) This mix is actually something i'm super excited for though because I haven't put up any of this kind of content on the blog, it's been mostly simp music. SO HERE YOU GO! A HYPE MIX TO BLAST IN YOUR CAR, AT PARTIES, OR EVEN JUST WHEN YOU'RE CLEANING YOUR ROOM HAHA. There's not really an explanation behind this one like the others, it's just something fun! I really hope you enjoy it!

Get to know: Pax

This post is dedicated to an artist I've grown really fond of and want to share with everyone. I came across his stuff on SoundCloud not too long ago and I was immediately drawn in. The beats produced by Pax really hit the heartstrings. You can tell he has clear intent behind the beats & songs he puts out. Before I even got the chance to talk to him, I could tell he wanted people to connect to his music. I know I definitely did. Although his music is simple, each song tells a different story. Pax does an incredible job at storytelling through beats. It's amazing. As an artist, he's able to make music that is both effortless and complex all at once. Sounds contradictory, I know. The songs really are simple, to the point, and beautiful.  However, even so, they're able to incite so many emotions within a listener. I was able to speak to him and get to know him as well as his intentions behind his music a bit more. I also put together a playlist of some of his tracks. DEFINITELY CHECK HIM OUT. You won't be disappointed. He deserves light shed on his work, and I think you all deserve this music in your life. 

Interview:  

S: well I guess for starters, we gotta know when did this start for you? like what was that moment you said "hey Ima do this music thing?" ?

Pax: haha honestly I don't even have a definite answer for that. I started making beats as early as 6 or 7 years old because my older brother(who was like 13 at the time) was rapping and making beats on one of the first FL demos lol and then my friend kinda got me into making stuff in high school but it was never serious. that was around 2011. I think I really decided to take it more seriously in 2013-14.

S: Aye so musics just kinda been something you've always been surrounded by, that's dope. Damn those fl demos!! 😂 nice

Pax: Definitely lol my mom put me in piano lessons when I was 5 haha

S: Since 2013-2014 do you think your musics personally evolved? Or have you tried to keep a consistent feel to it?

Pax: I think it's definitely evolved. I've wanted to explore a lot of different sounds/genres while trying to keep a consistency to it. Idk if I've been successful honestly haha that's up to the listener

S: No I definitely get that feel, which is why I wanted to see how you felt about it because I can tell there are differences in each thing you put out, but there's definitely a consistency in it, which is what I appreciate. The aspects you keep consistent are really beautiful

Pax: Thanks dude that means a lot !

S: Do you have a personal favorite track that just hits home for you?

Pax: like one of my own tracks?

S: yes! but, I'm interested to hear about your inspirations as well so I guess both one your own, & an outside one

Pax: I think olvgrn or vivian for me. Those are the only 2 tracks that I've made that I actually like lol And as far as another or an inspiration, there's so many songs to name
I think this is crazy by Michael Lundy is up there

S: Vivian is so beautiful!
What! Only ones you like? Do olvgrn & Vivian have emotional attachments to them or are they just tracks you feel entirely satisfied with as a finished product?
I just went and listened to This is crazy. Definitely understand why its up there for you. Thank you for putting me on that

Pax: yee for sure!
I think those 2 songs were just songs that came together so organically. They're straight up just me yunno? Like stream of consciousness kinda songs idk how to explain it haha
I didn't have to think too hard about those songs they just came together and they were so out of my realm when I made them. I really like this new album that I'm about to put out as well, because it has a lot of organic songs like those 2. I'm trying to separate my beats from my song making and I think there's a distinct difference between the 2

S: Makes a lot of sense now actually. When something flows and comes together naturally it's like no other. Can't really be replicated. I feel it. Oh man a new album? That's exciting. Well I'm looking forward to that already! Especially knowing it's a project you feel is completely you. Do you like keeping the two aspects of ur beats and song making separate? Or are they differences you appreciate integrating together?

Pax: yeah definitely. The reason being is because i really like making 40second loops/beats but I also really like song writing as well. My beats are just things I make in an hour or 2 and songs can take days/weeks.

S: I noticed you put a lot of sound clips from shows/movies(?) i'm assuming, into your songs. You like telling a story type thing w them huh?

Pax: But yeah I do haha

S: I'll end it here, just wanna ask if there's anything you wanna say about yourself, your music, intentions, anything at all, you have free range now to close off.

Pax: hmmmm. As far as intentions I just hope people will take my new stuff and use it to help them get through tough times. All I can say is I hope that my music can empathize with those who are feeling down and out.

Pax's handles: 

soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/pictochat 

twitter:  @milorango 

bandcamp: http://pictochat.bandcamp.com/

Summer Nights

I know the playlists I've shared with you guys so far have been super moody and more on the soft side, so I decided to give you all something a little different. Originally I was compiling a super hype playlist but it turned into... this haha. I wouldn't say it's hype at all. I refined it and decided to make it a chill rap type playlist. Super easy playlist to vibe to, in my opinion. Since they are hip hop/rap songs, the energy from these songs are less emotional & more straight up VIBES. I love this playlist. It either makes me want to hop out of car and dance or sit in my room and just feel myself. I don't really have much more to say about it, you just have to listen for yourself honestly. Check out the artists other work too! They're all super talented & deserve more recognition!! Anyways, whatever this playlist makes you feel, I just hope you enjoy it & STAY POSTED!!!!! 

By the way, I have something excited in store for the next blog post! Can't wait to share with you all.

Right Now, With You: A Playlist By Mary Coscolluela

Hi guys, back with another playlist for you.  This playlist was created by one of my best friends, Mary (@iammissmaryc). Her music taste is impeccable and in all honesty I know I can always count on her for good music. She's also an incredible writer. So to express the thoughts and feelings behind this playlist, she wrote a poem.

“for long nights, even longer drives with you by my side.
for making out, 5 seconds feeling like infinity against your lips.
for baby making even though we’re not ready but in this single moment it feels like we are.
for silence, basking in how much i think i might love you.
for those 3 words finally slipping out your mouth and i say, i love you too.
for all these moments and more, with you.”

— Mary Coscolluela

I could relate both to this poem, and playlist on such a deep level. Mary said this playlist would make you feel like you're falling in love. & it's true. It's a compilation of songs & instrumentals that in some way mimic that feeling you get when you fall completely and wholeheartedly for a person. This is the playlist you wish would play in the background of your love story. These are the songs you picture playing in the car, as you stare at the person you're head over heels for while they drive. The songs that blast when the two inevitable lovers finally kiss passionately in a movie. Call me a dramatic romantic but like I said, music puts me in a special place. While this playlist incited feelings of falling in love, I think it can also have you longing for a lost love. However you interpret it, I hope you enjoy it.

Flower Boy: First Impressions

"Foreword" ft. Can & Rex Orange County : We start off with a song that initially sounds raw and aggressive in tone. However it quickly shifts to something cool and smooth once the guitar is introduced. Rex Orange County's execution of the bridge immediately captivated me and had me feeling really calm. Midway, the beat lowers and drags to create almost a sense of urgency as Tyler speeds up. Then goes back to an upbeat click type beat, accompanied by Rex Orange County's smooth outro. I mess with Rex heavy and I'm so glad he's on this because he deserves his talent showcased.

"Where This Flower Blooms" ft. Frank Ocean : Okay so this song from the start feels like it's building up to something great. Franks impeccable voice on the chorus speaking of rolling through California helps tie in PERFECTLY to the bridge followed by Tyler. I ROCK! I ROLL! I BLOOM! I GLOW!!! I could chant this for days man. It creates an almost effortless vibe to the song quite instantly, quickly incorporating the flower theme of the album. Tyler's flow on the second verse, to me, is reminiscent of his flow on Frank Oceans song "Biking". Verse 3 goes full force by introducing Flower Boy T, creating an analogy of his growth as a tree in relation to his growth as an artist and as a person. Theres this bit towards the end where Tyler says "run it run it run it run it" and his voice switches from ear to ear each time (at least when listening with earphones). That effect is one of the dopest things in songs to me for some reason. It really creates depth in a song. The song fades out with a beautiful piano bit which flows perfectly into the next track.

"Sometimes..." : this interlude/ intro to "See You Again" helps keep the story of this album in tact. Shane Powers is taking requests on GOLF radio & we are presented with a hesitant boy, wanting to hear "the song about me"

"See You Again" ft. Kali Uchis : This track is a masterpiece. It starts with Tyler singing in a higher pitch, further deepening the lyrics he sings about a perfect, unattainable person who only exists in his "dream state". You could feel his longing for this person who he can't seem to get. The chorus comes in with Tyler's voice in the forefront of Kali Uchis' melodic voice. You hear hers slowly bleeding through Tyler's deeper tone. Until... only her voice clears it's way through and WOOOOO MY GOOOOODD, THE BEAUTY!!! I really felt butterflies in my stomach and my head went a little light when she began singing "Can I get a kiss...." I don't know what it is about this song and how it was executed, but it truly works beautifully. The lyrics are so relatable and convey the yearning for love so flawlessly. Tyler switches flows up completely after the chorus, explaining frantically how he craves this love for this person he's never even met, as Kali lends melodic "oooo's" in the background. The outro, although simple, I felt it captured the giddy feeling of love Tyler's trying to express. 

"Who Dat Boy" ft. ASAP Rocky : The tone of "Who Day Boy" completely changes from the previous song. This song instantly feels ominous and hostile. The whole time I felt as though there was a bomb ticking away, ready to explode, as Tyler became more and more distressed by something beyond his control. The beats slap really hard on this song and the bass is also really heavy. Asap Rocky comes in the second verse, more cool and collected than Tyler in the previous verse. Tyler and Rocky have a very conversational feel in this song, even though majority of the time it feels as though Tyler is sure enough of himself. I personally like how raw this song is in comparison to the others because it's a change in pace that isn't overwhelming. Tyler & Rocky are two of my favorites and their collaboration on this song masterfully joins their two styles of rap. 

"Pothole" ft. Jaden Smith : This song is still playing on the opposite end of this album (the not so lovey dovey side), much like Who Dat Boy. Tyler uses driving as a metaphor for moving forward and dealing with whatever difficulties are thrown at you, such as a pot hole. Eh, get it? He's at a crossroads and can't decide which way is best to go. I think this songs pretty powerful in terms of being relatable. A song promoting growth, in a less beautiful, but rather realistic way. (and of course Jaden Smith being on this track makes it a billion times better)   

"Garden Shed" ft. Estelle : Garden shed honestly just puts me in such a serene state. The first minute or so is all instrumental. When listening to it I honestly thought it was just some type of interlude because of how simplistic it was. I was able to comfortably zone out and just feel the song. About 2/3s into it, Tyler's second verse crawls in, although he was rapping, it still felt natural and uncomplicated.

"Boredom" ft. Anna of the North, Corinne Bailey Rae, & Rex Orange County : This wasn't my first time hearing this song, since it had been released prior to the full album release. So I'll try to communicate my first initial impression. I actually heard this song during a really tough time. It brought tears to my eyes, no joke. The hook is so steady and tranquil that it incites a "let me just close my eyes and lightly bop my head" type feeling. I'm not entirely sure what the songs meaning is, but I interpreted it as simply neglecting the simple things in life. We get surrounded by the hustle and bustle of life that the "boring" things are often unwanted. When they're the ones that are most precious. We don't make time for the simple pleasures we all need. 

"I Ain't Got Time!" : This song immediately reminds me of "DEATHCAMP". It's a complete 180 from "Boredom". I Aint Got Time is super belligerent and upbeat. This song is pretty much just Tyler making clear how he literally has no time for bullshit. Putting in work is his priority. I'd love to blast this song in a car and just wild out. It's a perfect "leave me alone I'm on my vibe" anthem.

"911/ Mr. Lonely" ft. Anna of the North, Steve Lacy, & Frank Ocean : Ahhh this two part track is probably something you're already familiar with. I don't have much to say about it other than it's just really damn good. "911" is so relatable. I just wanted to send this to my crush a billion times when it first came out. The lyrics in this part are quite sad and moody, however it's expressed in an upbeat, fun track, that oddly gets you wanting to dance. Ironically, the second part "Mr. Lonely" is also filled with depressing lyrics, but is much heavier and darker in terms of execution. Quickly snapping you out of the mood the first part puts you in.

"Droppin' Seeds" ft. Lil Wayne : I was so excited to hear Wayne and Tyler on this track together. It has such a jazzy feel to it. I love it. Makes me quite upset it's only a minute long, so I don't have much else to say about it except I WISH IT WERE LONGER

"November" : I remember Tyler tweeting "Take me back to November" at the beginning of the month. I quoted it with something like "no thank you I hated November". It's funny cause after listening to this song my perspective of my November changed. It was a rough month because a lot shifted in my life but now I'm thankful for it cause I wouldn't be where I am right now if it wasn't for that November. The part of the song where everyone's saying "My November was.." gave me chills. Because I quickly realized they weren't speaking about the actual month but rather a period in time that they missed or wished they could relive again. 

"Glitter" : Glitter is super smooth and taps into Tyler's emotions. He speaks about wanting to be more than just friends with a certain person and how fireworks feel like glitter, and how being around them feels like glitter, meaning he feels fireworks whenever around this person. It's quite an accurate metaphor to being in love or having deep feelings for a person. It's explosive and passionate and volatile. 

"Enjoy Right Now, Today" : I listened for maybe 2 minutes straight until realizing this song was a full instrumental. I think it's genius. Simple. A track you can just play in the background and "Enjoy Right Now, Today" with. No lyrics, no extra distractions, just music. Simplicity to allow you to enjoy the moment. Any given moment in life. Truly genius & a beautiful way to close the album.

What's your "November"? Share in the comments below

 

https://itun.es/us/ui0Xkb

Sunflowers (Playlist)

Let's begin with my profound admiration for sunflowers. I love them. Not very many things capture me like the radiance of a sunflower. 

I don't just praise them for their beauty. I now extend extreme gratitude towards them. 

A few months ago I fell into a really bad place. To say the very very least, I became numb. I no longer cared about anything at all. No energy, no will, nothing. I laid in my room for days on end. Refusing to do anything except... nothing. My family tried everything to pull me out. A plethora of boba, my favorite foods, even the gift of company, anything you could think of. Despite the efforts, nothing changed for me. But sunflowers... became something dear to my heart.

My bedroom is simple. My walls are painted grey, and anything in it is either white or black. No color. Simple greyscale. I loved the simplicity. I just never realized quite how dull it was until one particular day. I was laying in bed, listening to music. My mom had urged me to go to the store with her. She wanted me to get up and out of the house. Anything it took. I refused. Wanted to stay in bed. Soon after, she walks into my room holding a bouquet of sunflowers & says to me

 "I know it's not much... but I know how much you love sunflowers so I went to the store and got you some. I hope they cheer you up even a tiny bit." 

Now... let me tell you... beautiful isn't anywhere near descriptive enough. I really wish it were. It sounds cliche but it was, hands down, one of the most beautiful things to me. I smiled. My heart lit up. She got a vase and set them in my room for me. It served as some type of analogy to me and my life. I was dull. Surrounded by grey. Surrounded by such... lack of color in my life, so to speak. All the color had been wrung out and faded. And it wasn't until the beautiful cluster of yellow sunflowers were introduced into the setting that I realized how dull everything was, and had been. So I started making changes.

I wouldn't say I owe the shift in states in my life entirely to sunflowers. It was definitely a combination of things, people, places. However, sunflowers now serve as a symbol for me. A symbol of all the beauty I neglected to let myself see, accept, and feel.

I wish I could engulf myself in a field of sunflowers to feel that love I felt the moment my mom walked into my room that day, just once more. 

Ive compiled a playlist entitled "Helianthus". Helianthus, being, the common sunflower. I couldn't find a title more fitting. This playlist is comprised of songs that relay to all of the emotions I felt after that day. It was a mix of beauty and pain and love. I found no better way to portray those emotions than through music. Given, im not a creator of music, playlists are my equivalent to a musician writing a song or an artist painting a picture or a dancer choreographing a routine to express what they feel. You'll be able to find and make your own connections to this playlist. The flood of emotions alongside the journey of love is something everyone experiences. Sometimes we take for granted the pain that has to come with love. It builds us up. And allows for growth. Initially, I was making this playlist for a person. But as time went on and new experiences came at me, I realized I might've just been projecting my emotions. I was honestly just searching for love. & within the past few months I found all different kinds of it. 

Below are links to the playlist (both on Apple Music & Soundcloud) In the description of the playlists will be a more in depth description of the playlists themselves. I truly hope you enjoy, and I thank you for reading. I know this post was on the personal side (don't worry not all content will be this personal) but the reasons behind this blog in the first place are because of how strongly I feel connected to music and life experiences. I want to be able to get people to see they aren't alone and have healthy outlets for their emotions.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/helianthus/idpl.u-DdvoFyyaz8y

Welcome To Benevolent Flow.

 Welcome to Benevolent Flow. 

I don't really know where to begin...

I know this is a new concept and idea to most, if not all, of you, but let me try to explain where this is all beginning from. 

This has all been coming into play for a couple of months now, behind closed doors. 

If you know me, you know my love for music runs really deep. 

I'm no creator, but I do see music in a different light.

I want to be able to shed light on the more abstract, beautiful aspects of music. The side of music that truly hits hearts. 

Whether it be soft alternative, smooth rnb, or hard hitting hip hop that you're into, there's a reason for it. We delve deep to have our minds and souls be comforted by the music we surround ourselves with. Some of us do it knowingly, while others do it without even recognizing they're doing it. 

All I know is, I've crossed paths with some amazing artists. All of which who have profoundly impacted and inspired me. 

I don't find myself listening to music to just... listen. I listen to music with a purpose now. I believe any given situation, moment, or emotion, can be relayed back to music itself. 

My goal for Benevolent Flow is simply to inspire. Plain and simple. I want to inspire others to see music in the light it deserves to be seen in. I want to inspire others to view artists the way they deserve to be viewed. And most importantly, I want you to allow yourself to express the beauty of it all. 

I know this is all so vague. I can't give you a full break down of what this website has to offer or what it has in store... because quite honestly, I hope for it to grow and evolve off of the energy you guys feed it. I have a lot planned, but all in due time. So once again, welcome. I really truly hope Benevolent Flow serves as an extension of my love for music.